Saturday, July 5, 2014

6.23.14

Worry, worry, worry!!!  Life can be so worrisome at times.  Stress..stress...stress...life can be so stressful at times.   What to do???   Always what to do???

Did try to quit...wishful thinking and make decisions and stick to them, but I FAIL!!!

2nd card on my *Shadow Tarot Work* (Star of Discovery spread)  The Hanged Man (#12) hanging upside down -getting brilliant ideas.   

Pride vs Humility...feeling like I really want to do something....move on...to what???

Wish....here I am again wishing...must stop that.  I create, instead of wish.  

Would like some opportunities to come forward.  Maybe the mind just playing games again!!

As I was reading down the list about the Hanged Man...allowing things to happen without the need to control.  The Big *C* word that my Father was very good at doing.  Beside that and guilt trips.  I had received some channeled info. back in 95' that came through someone that I went too...to have some past life regression done.  About 2-3 yrs ago, I got angry at Spirit and threw the tape away.  It had some really good info. on it and I shouldn't of thrown it away, but as they say...whoever they are.....everything happens for a reason...right???   or shift happens...you be the judge!!! (wink)

*you are becoming the watcher.... (thought/said to myself.....) Mind, you are so funny...chuckled to myself.....  ;)

6.22.14

Mind - ? For you...why can't we do raw vegan and stop drinking coffee????

Because I don't want too.  I enjoy eating a variety of foods and drinks, plus we have emotional attachments....addictions, if you will, but we can do raw & vegan together.  Start small and we shall improve - Thank YOU!!

I wonder about life at times...where we are headed.....hmmmm???

6.21.14

My mind is playing games with me, waking up wanting donuts, thinking everyone's life on FB is better than mine, exactly what THEY want you to think.  Feeling depressed about $$$ again. Have to stop this ..just let go....feel free.  Mind wants to take me back to my 20's & 30's, but I say NO...as I am proud of what I have achieved in all layers of my life.  Emotionally maturing.....sigh!!

Sometimes I feel on a deep level this part of myself never developed or was allowed to develop ....due to the fact that we were not actually taught how to make decisions on our own based on our why's or wants ...always because of what our parents, church, school, etc. thought.  So I pulled a card to help with this emotional maturing...*The World (#21) ...perfect..yes, chasing a rainbow vs the challenge of living here.  this is how I do feel at times...not grounded...wishing/chasing a rainbow, instead of accepting life as it is.

Yup..being caught up in your own tiny world, which is where I withdraw too....like a horse with blinders on....unable to see the big picture.....

Emotional stagnation....missing the joy of the moment...living in the past or future...looking for happiness outside myself...BINGO!!!

I had a realization that this emotional immaturity came from my Mom, I learned by watching and developed this...time to let go......